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I've talked about imposter syndrome before in blog posts. But, it's something I feel ALL THE TIME. I've had a tremendous amount of anxiety about editing and moving forward with my illustrated bat book. I've had a lot of shifting feelings about it too. I was so excited when I started working on this book - and that excitement really motivated me. But then, the high of completing the project started to wear off and I began to think that it wasn't really that great. My beta readers all gave me positive and constructive feedback (which I was grateful for). I keep picking it apart, trying to fix every little flaw. 

One of my friends, a librarian, told me to stop it. To just complete the project and move forward. She told me that I'd be shocked at some of the children's books that move through the circulation desk (they aren't that great). I try not to compare what I do to what other people do. I'm in several different writing groups and I know how much work goes into different projects (and I know how critical people in those groups can be). I try to compare my work to my work. Is this better than other projects I've worked on? Is it on par with them? Is this something I can be proud of? 

The answer to all of these questions is "yes." This book is a little different - it doesn't have brightly colored images on each page (well, detailed images). It focuses more on facts and biology than it does on artwork (unlike Animal Friends of West Texas). But, it also shares information about an animal that I've always loved and have always found to be very interesting. It's a passion project. Maybe that's why I want it to do well - it's something I deeply care about. 

​So, today I hit "submit" and my proof is on its way to be printed and sent to me. And you know what? We'll go from there. 

This piece of art is a digital mixed media painting. The background is a digital pastel rendering of the Chisos (inspired by another, physical painting of the Chisos I did in 2021). The horse and his rider are digital watercolor. The neon outline is digital ink. I had several ideas about the presentation of my horse and rider. I knew that I wanted them to be stepping out of a frame, but at first I made the frame red. Then I made the frame neon pink. I think back suits it best - and it doesn't draw attention away from the neon color around my horse and rider. I'm so very pleased with the shading of the digital watercolor and the texture of the mane. This painting is exactly what I was hoping it would be: colorful, creative, and unique. 

When I was a teenager I had a betta named Rainbow who was blue and purple and pink. My sister has asked me to create a betta that is similar in color (a challenge because it's been nearly 20 years since I've seen him and we don't have clear pictures). I'm also thinking about scrapping the first betta and doing three betta in motion, one colored like Rainbow. We'll see where this little art journey goes before I start getting tired of fish! 

There's something magical and fluid about fish. It's been a few weeks since I worked on a piece of art. I wanted to work on something a little different from the colorful animal series that I've been focusing on (and I am still working through). Something that is a mix between being a little more realistic and being illustrative looking. I think I might focus on fish for a little while. I'm going to work on at least two more of these. I love the black background and the colorful subject. 

The betta fish is an air-breathing fish (because of their labyrinth organ). Betta can breathe through their gills, but this additional organ allows them to also breathe air! There are over seventy species of betta fish. They are known as a "fighting fish" and will aggressively claim and defend their territory by flashing their fins. This colorful fish is known for its beautiful, unique color combinations - which is something I adore about them. 

​Do you have a favorite type of fish? Let me know in the comments!