I left my job in 2020 to focus on making art. At the time, I’d been making art for over a decade and I knew that I had the ability to make this work for me. I’d done business building with my job, I had a background in bookkeeping - I felt like I could work at monetizing my skill. While I knew that this would be a lot of work, I knew that consistency was key. I did not anticipate finding that making art would be such a challenge. 

I felt like I was beginning the perfect career: something that I enjoyed and something I was good at. Creative endeavors can reduce depression and stress. This was exactly what I needed exiting the corporate world, and I looked forward to beginning to heal in a productive way. That was my internalized capitalism - tying my worth to my production. I didn’t realize that I was going to have to come to terms with that too in the way that I made art. 

In monetizing something that I enjoyed, I began to struggle. I often got stuck in my head. The longer that I looked at a painting the more I felt that the lines weren’t right or the shading was off. I even had trouble with subject matter - I had no idea what I’d paint next. Art started to become less enjoyable for me. Everything felt like it took so much effort. I hadn’t realized that a lot of this process had become such a burden because I had tried to monetize something that had been a source of joy for me. I began to dread every commission that I accepted and even though I charged more for commissions, I even started to feel guilty about my (very reasonable) pricing. I didn’t realize how much more difficult art would be for me when I began to make it for money instead of making it for myself. ​

In 2022 I found myself trying to make art during my pregnancy and it became even more of a challenge. I was trying to find time to be creative when I had no energy or I was in pain. I began to shift away from making art to make money and began to make art because I wanted to. As a result, this year was the least productive year (as far as making art and monetizing it) that I’d had since I started my art business. But, I also found that I was making art that I enjoyed - and I felt passionate about it again. I felt so passionate about it I took my art and put the pieces into two books! 

Shifting away from art as something that HAD to be monetized, I found myself feeling like making art was easy. I began exploring different artistic styles. I began brainstorming again. I began to feel excitement instead of dread. The pressure to produce, produce, produce was gone - and with it, I found that making art was easy again. 

In moving into 2023 I have a new plan: I’m not going to compare what I’m doing with anyone else. I have my own goals that I’m working toward. It might not even look like making ten pieces of art a year. It might look more like focusing on producing a few new books year - which I’m doing because I want to, and I enjoy it, not because I need to make money, money, money (and I can acknowledge these passion projects are privileged). I'm also going to actively seek joy. We aren't made to only work. We're also made to create. And that's what I'm going to do in the new year.

When my mother-in-law asked me to paint a memorial painting for her I, of course, said yes. But then, I wondered what did I want to do? This is the third memorial piece she’s asked me to make for her. The first was for a dear friend who lost their cat. My sister-in-law asked me to paint a portrait of a Beagle for a friend who had lost hers a few years ago. They were sweet paintings, but illustrative - more cartoon-like than realistic. My mother-in-law wanted a smaller memorial, and a 4x4 canvas I had was perfect. The nice think about small paintings is hat you can easily tuck them into book shelves or set them onto of buffets and they don’t take up too much room. I knew that I wanted this memorial piece to look more, well, real. I decided that I’d focus on a portrait. Sadie, her Aussie, had been a black tri, so I knew the color palette that I’d be working with. I decided that I wanted a warm, happy background color and I went with yellow - saffron yellow, to be precise. 

I thought about working with oils for this painting, but decided that the long dry time was not something that I wanted to have to accommodate for when working on this painting. I do love the way that light reflects in oil paint, and that’s not something that generally happens with acrylic paint. Settling on acrylic, though, I mapped out the portrait that I wanted to use and began to apply my background. The paint that I used, the saffron yellow, is semi-opaque, so it needed two coats. I added some off-white paint and an antique gold to the corners to give the implication of light. I’ve found that it also adds more visual interest to a painting than a solid color.

Working on this memorial piece, I found myself thinking about Sadie. Sadie Sue was a sweetie. My husband adopted her several years ago and she lived with him for a little while and then transitioned to his parents household where she helped my mother-in-law keep an eye on our niece. Sadie was so devoted to our niece that she rarely left her side. My mother-in-law loves to tell stories about Sadie sleeping on the floor in front of the crib while my niece would take her naps. I met Sadie in 2020 and she was always happy to say hello. Aussies are the best dogs. I know, I’ve had two. My red tri passed away in 2021 and we got our second the same year (also a black Tri, named Holly). 

I always panic a little when I start a painting. What if I decide halfway through that I don’t like it? What if I get too stuck in my headspace and wrapped up in the way I think a line looks? There have been times when I get so frustrated with a painting I have to walk away from it. I wanted this memorial piece to be something that I enjoyed. So, I created a mental grid. 

Some artists will draw physical grids on their paintings. I like making a mental grid. I give myself a place that I’m going to start from (like an ear) and I work my way into different areas of the painting from there. Sometimes, I do this with a color. When I was working on this painting, I thought a lot about which color I wanted to start with and chose black because it took up so much real estate of the portrait. 

These dogs are one of the most popular breeds in the United States, and if you’ve ever been around one or owned one it’s easy to understand why. They’re, quite simply, a great animal. This medium sized herder has its genetic roots in Spain. There’s folklore surrounding the breed that Basque shepherds took the dogs with them to Australia, and then from there the dogs came to the United States in the when ranchers were sending sheep to the country. Per the American Kennel Club, and Juanita Ely - one of the oldest documented breeders of Australian shepherds, the breed came to Australia from the Great Pyrenees - an area between Spain and France. They took their animals to Australia to work, and from Australia came to the United States. Why are they associated with Australians and sheep instead of the Basque? Australian sheep had softer wool and they dominated the industry, per William Douglas, who is who is a director of Basque Studies at the University of Nevada. There was an increase in Basque immigration during the 1940s and many immigrants brought their dogs with them. 

The breed that so many people know and love is purely American. Aussies are known for their keen minds and their love of tricks. Many people use them for work dogs because of their magnificent herding ability. They gained popularity in rodeo circuits - many cowboys used them to help herd bulls and entertain. Aussies are a smart dog. They can be trained to do almost anything and have been used not only for herding, but also as service dogs, therapy dogs, and entertainers. The Aussie’s have beautiful and unique coat patterns, from merles to Tris and they often have multicolored eyes. Many Aussies will have naturally bobbed tails (a 1 in 5 change (my first Aussie, Bronson, was born this way). 

Their personalities are fun and spunky. They love being close to their family members. Sadie was definitely a social butterfly - you’d find her under the table or laying on the floor nearby where she could stay close to you. Aussies are agile dogs and are great jumpers - they can leap three to four feet into the air. Holly, my Aussie, loves to leap from the couch to an ottoman and back again. They’re full of endless energy. I hope that I captured that fun-loving, sweet-natured girl in this memorial painting. 

Something that I think about, a lot, is legacy. What I love about this little painting is that the base of it was used to create another piece of art for a dog trainer in town that works a lot with rescued dogs and shelter dogs to help them find their forever homes. Sadie was a rescue and I think that her face being associated with a business that gives so much back to dogs is a pretty great legacy. 

Note: I anticipated this painting taking about thirty minutes to complete. Total time from start to finish was two hours. 

Maybe it should be my New Year's resolution to keep my blog more consistently. I'm reminded, regularly, that we consume the social media spaces that we participate in - we don't actually own our content there. So, while I might post semi-regularly on Facebook and Instagram, there might come a time where those spaces don't exist in the way they do right now. And, if that's the case, all of my content that I've created is gone. 

Anyway, here it goes, the end of the year blog post. The commitment to do better next year. The recap of my main projects. It's going to be a long post. It's been a long year. 

I finished eleven pieces of art in March. There were two digital pieces and eight acrylic paintings - some were mixed media with the gold leaf. The large cactus painting was donated to the hospital for their annual clay shoot. Last year I donated a pheasant. I'm most proud of the Jackalope, a large 30x30 piece that took me a few months to finish. I do, though, also love the other rabbits. 

I didn't make any art this month. It was hot. I was heavily pregnant. I was so uncomfortable. No art. 

I didn't make any art this month. It was hot. I was in pain. I had a baby. 

I made a lot of art in November. And I made some choices that I wasn't anticipating. I began by working on three illustrative pieces with a bright sunset. I'd taken a trip to the desert with my husband this month and I wanted to work on some art inspired by that trip. I did some digital sketches.  That turned into working on 12 digital paintings. I wanted to do something a little different than my normal style - bright colors and little detail. They were so fun! I also worked on a memorial painting for a sweet girl who passed away during the summer. 

December. The final month of the year. I don't see myself making a lot of art this month - although if I do it will be in another post or I'll update this. In December I have two books coming out. The first book, Animal Friends of West Texas, features my 12 colorful pieces of art inspired by my trip to the desert. They are thoughtfully paired with animal facts. I'm so excited about this book. The second book, Bats! An Illustrated Fact Book, is specifically about bats and bat facts. I go through each section of a bat body with colorful illustrations and factual information. 

I was also asked to work on a logo for a local business. They've done some work with our Aussie and I was delighted to complete the logo for them. It's exciting to see something that you've put hard work into being used in the community you live in. 

I'm not sure if I'll do another post before the end of the year. I like the run down of the different pieces of art that I've made in each month. You can follow me on Instagram and on Facebook to see my top nine pieces of art for the year - I'll share that at the end of December. Thanks, as always, for coming on this journey with me. I'm excited for 2023.