Here's some great news from my studio! I've been working with Maryland author Amanda Hodges as an illustrator! She's written the most precious little story. This little bear tries to explain what his dad does for work, but all he really knows is how his daddy spends time with him. I've absolutely fallen in love with this little bear family. 

I've begun to shift my focus. In 2022 I had a conversation with another artist in my community. The conversation centered around storytelling and art. He reminded me that when people shift into new chapters of their lives they look for items that speak to them. This could look like wanting to buy a piece of art featuring a big cat because the big cat reminds you of masculinity, strength, or aggression - traits you might see in yourself or identify with. It might look like buying an elephant painting because it reminds you of mothers or nurturing or family. What is the symbolism and the story behind the art work? 

So what does this mean for my art? It means that I'm not accepting commissions this year. It means that I'm focusing on illustration and creating art that pairs with story. It means that I'm changing the way that I identify on this page from being only an artist to being an author and an artist - because I've long been a writer, but now I'm an author - there's book. There are books. It means that I'm more intentional with the work that I take on. It means that I'll occasionally release a physical painting or that I'll release a series of prints based off of my work on books (I've done that for a series in Terlingua and it's very exciting). 

My illustrations, like so much of my artwork, have their own style - yet when I look at them I think of my own stylistic contributions. It doesn't matter if they're a simple illustration or one that is more complex. I see them and I can tell that I have created them. There's something about me in them. I love the way that they are connected to story and I can't wait to see where this year - and this focus - take me. 

As always, thanks for following me on this journey. Maybe I should say that more. 

I remember my grandfather writing in a letter to some of his friends that he just knew that I was going to be a published author one day. That day has come. I wish that he could see it. At the end of 2022 I began working on a West Texas inspired animal series. After working on them I decided that I wanted to turn them into a children's book. 

Like my grandmother before me (who wrote poetry), I sent my work to the Library of Congress and it was approved for copyright. I'm self-published. I decided that this was the path for me and that's okay. So, in 2023 my first children's book is officially available! 

I am so pleased that my art has joined with story telling in this way. I have three more books I plan to publish before the end of the year and two others that I'm working with an author as the illustrator. I'm excited to see where this chapter of my journey leads.

My book is now available through my publisher, on Amazon, and on Barnes & Noble. This illustrated book features fun facts and colorful pictures for many Texas animals - a perfect book for any animal lover!
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Publisher: https://rb.gy/icqqhl
Amazon: https://rb.gy/hvlphy
Barnes & Noble: https://rb.gy/1sjewf

I keep telling myself the only person that I should compare myself to is myself. That old version of me. It's not fair to try to compare what I do and what I make with any other artist or any other style. They're the main character of their own stories and they have different goals and make different choices than I do. That doesn't make dealing with imposter syndrome any easier. 

So often I feel like I have great ideas. Or the execution of the idea is ok. And it always just falls flat. The art doesn't sell. It's hard to put into words, but I've always struggled with a feeling that I'm just not quite doing IT - whatever IT is. It's almost like I'm trying to leap onto something and I fall short every time. Every single time.

He asked me one question after listening to me: "Does your art make you happy?" 

Well. Yes. My art does make me happy. It's colorful. It's charming. It's a little whimsical. It does make me happy. And when I look at old pieces, they make me happy too. Is that enough to erase the feeling that I'm always failing to meet some kind of expectation (even if it is a self-imposed expectation)? Not really. But it's a good reminder that my goal for this year was to shift my art focus and to work more on what made me happy, not necessarily something that was going to sell. The desperation that I felt in 2020 as I painted and painted to try to bring in an income is gone. It's been replaced by something else. And in following "something else" I do have to acknowledge that I've accomplished a few things that I hadn't really thought I ever would. So, I guess the only thing that I can do is to keep on keeping on as I move through it to see what's further down the road. 

It's been a few months since I've made a physical piece of art. At the end of the month I began to feel uncomfortable with the amount of digital art that I've made. I made 32 different pieces of art for the month of February. The style has been very different from some of the pieces that I've made in the past. They're more illustrative. They aren't as sharp as some of my physical pieces (and even some of my digital pieces). It's made me feel like it's "lazy" or that I don't know what I'm doing anymore. 

Zach and I have been married a year now and we went back to the desert to celebrate. In the past, several pieces have been inspired by our time in the desert. This trip was also very inspiring. This colorful, digital cactus is the result of our recent trip. I printed some other digital pieces on metal and I feel like this would be a great piece on a similar medium. We had a fantastic time. We stayed in Alpine, Texas. We dropped my art off outside of Terlingua at the Tin Barn Gallery. We had wonderful food in Marfa. I love going to the Big Bend area. It's great for my soul.